So...who do you like? :)

ok ok...I'll tell you. It's Ben Jolliffe. We just started dating and I wanted to share! Now if I could just get back to my regular sleeping pattern.

ps. sigh...:)

Go therefore...

"Remember that there is a passion for souls that does not come from God, but from our desire to make converts to our point of view."
~Oswald Chambers

God please sift out my desire to be right and influential by making converts to my point of view.

Now hiring...

I'm in the market for a personal assistant - anybody looking for a part-time job?

Must Be:
-Willing to work for little-to-no pay
-Organized and punctual (and able to magically make me punctual)
-agree with everything i say (unless it's dumb and then they should tell me so i don't say it again)
-have experience in answering cell phones, emails, etc.
-able to give good directions. :)

if only...

The 5 Commandments of Dating

This is a summary of an article from a book that i haven't read, but i found it very direct and thought provoking - so i'm sharing! I'm curious - what do you guys think?

Despite what many of us have been taught, there is nothing inherently wrong with dating. But like any freedom—driving, voting, drinking—it can lead to disaster if you do it recklessly.
The purpose of dating is to find the "right one" with whom to spend the rest of your life. If you simply want to have fun, meet interesting people, or learn about yourself, don't do it within the context of dating, but in the context of friendship.

1. Thou shalt not group date.
When you hang out in a group, it isn't dating—it's socializing. Or mingling. Or entertaining. Whatever it is, it is not helpful. Nothing of any substance ever gets discussed in a group of co-ed friends when the intention of the get-together is to date. Emotional intimacy cannot be cultivated between two people if they are surrounded by ten of their best friends. While I'll agree that a group setting can be an excellent way to meet someone new, it is a terrible way to get to know someone's heart.
One of the biggest problems with group dating is that it allows men to be passive. One-on-one dating is the training ground that men desperately need to learn how to lead. Men learn perseverance by being rejected, strength by battling for a woman's heart, and initiative by asking a beauty on a date. Isn't it more intimate, you ask? Yes, but that's the point!

2. Thou shalt commit to the fight.
You are either dating or you are not dating. But the current Christian model is quite different. Our model looks like this: become friends, hang out, get to know one another, see where it goes, talk about possibly getting involved, discuss the north wind and how it may affect the relationship, talk to the youth pastor about it, pray about it, fast over it, court (which may mean dating), date (which may mean courting), and finally, date.
There is nothing overly spiritual or holy about camping somewhere between friendship and intimacy. In fact, when you attempt to know someone's heart without committing anything to them, you are doing them a terrible disservice.
Courting has the connotation that the relationship is definitely leading to marriage, putting undo stress on the couple. Women often think that if they are being courted, they are guaranteed a proposal. But that is not necessarily the case. While you can hope the relationship leads to marriage, courtship is no guarantee that the man will get down on his knee. Conversely, dating is about committing yourself to a developing, exclusive relationship to determine if your partner can be your soul mate.
If you are not sure whether or not you are dating, discuss it. If she or he hesitates or tries to stay in that awkward middle ground, jump from the moving train immediately.

3. Thou shalt expect nothing.
The number-one reason men don't want to commit to a relationship is because the only thing higher than a woman's heels on a first date is her expectations. If you think that the next guy has to be "the one," don't be surprised if he doesn't call you again.
When you first start seeing someone, give yourself three to four dates to decide whether or not you want to date him exclusively. Even if you think you know after the first date, give him time to realize how wonderful you are as well. Desperation is an ugly suit, and you certainly don't want to wear it on your first date, Cinderella. Both individuals should have three to four dates to decide if they want to commit to an exclusive relationship.

Ideally, the man should address the issue of dating, but if he hasn't initiated the conversation after the allotted four dates, feel free to bring it up, ladies. Ask an open-ended question along the lines of, "What kind of relationship do you see us developing?" or "Where do you see our friendship going?" Regardless of who brings it up, if the other person wavers and doesn't commit to getting to know you and only you, move on. You deserve better.

4. Thou shalt be patient.
Above all things, unconditional love is patient. When you experience a fresh and exciting new romance, you take a big swig of dumb-dumb juice. In all other instances, you would think rationally and logically, but when Cupid's arrow hits you in the backside, you begin to have outlandish visions of grandeur and romance.
No matter how much you love someone, there is no substitute for life's experiences. Walking through different seasons of life with your partner is an invaluable indicator of how he will handle the unpredictable moments of marriage. If you are planning on being married for the next seventy-five years of your life, a couple more months of dating certainly won't hurt you.
If we are really honest with ourselves, the reason that most of us are impatient is because we don't want the person we are dating to get away. We are simply afraid of being alone. But is that love or is that self-interest posing as love? When I get discouraged about my love life, I remember one thing—there are over six billion people in the world and I need only one. God is more than capable of finding me the perfect mate among that many choices.

5. Thou shalt always follow the King.
Instead of simply submitting to our feelings and emotions, it is more important to follow the passion and direction that the Lord instills in us. Why follow your heart when you can follow the Creator of your heart?
Many of us need that simple reminder because we all have a choice to make. We can either take love into our own hands and try to decipher between the millions of potential mates, or we can hand our hearts over to the Lord and trust that He who is Love will act in our best interest.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/mind61011.html

the link if you want to read the expanded version...

birthday fun

Thank you so much to all of "you" for a great birthday. It really was one of my more memorable ones. Overall, it was so nice to be surrounded by people who i enjoy - i felt very loved. So your well-wishes were not in vain...they really encouraged me! It was a very full birthday though - and it really lasted over a week! So i'm going to document it so i don't forget it...(the actual birthday was on friday Oct. 6, just so you know)
It started on wednesday when i hung out with Ethan and then with my 2nd year dgroup girls:

We laughed and talked about our perfect dates...good times! :)
Then thursday i had a great time at church and came home to my sister who visited! Then we went out "bowling" but it was closed. :( Small detail...yes. But we went and got milkshakes instead! it was good at the time (bad later on for those of us who are lactose intolerant!)
Here's me at midnight on my birthday in the milkshake place,

We hung out in the park and climbed a tank after some drunk Saugeen students sang me happy birthday and some Residence cheer ("chick chick BOOM!").
(oh and Julia helped me clean up my room...that was an ideal birthday present!!! thanks juls!)

Then during the day it was our staff team-building day (handy day for it!) and we went apple picking on a beautiful fall day. I ate apples and grapes until i couldn't eat anymore and enjoyed the sunshiney day!

Here's the team, and me and juls riding in the back of the car.
We made some apple crisp and watched a movie...good good times. And then the rest of my family came to london for dinner and we went to Maggie's for dinner! Maggie's is a jazz club/dinner place and although it's kind of expensive...it's amazing! The food is creative and delicious and the jazz makes you melt. mmmm....so good. And i dressed up a bit more too - last time i went i didn't know and felt very out of place!
(Can you tell we're related?!)
The rest of the evening i hung out with my brothers and sister and watched some YouTube and talked. So good! My brothers gave me a birthday card with a picture of The Rock on it. it goes like this:
"Can you hear the millions and millions...(next page)
wishing you a rock-solid birthday?"
And there's a picture of the rock dropping someone in the wrestling ring. On his back my brother drew a "tattoo" that says "Jen Clarke is rock-solid". haha...now i look at it in the morning and laugh. thanks boys. :)
The birthday continued through the week as belated presents and cards came or as i was able to finally get my mail for the first time. (i'll tell more about that some other time...)
Honorable gift mentions:
Hannah Lee, Julia Clarke, Ethan Park, 2nd year dgroup girls, Justine DePass, Casey Heintzman...(i admit it...i like gifts. :)

So yeah, there it is in case you wanted to know. I had a wonderful birthday and i'm really thankful for all the people in my life who help me along the way.

Take me out to the ball game...

The Blue Jays won this weekend 13-4! Isn't that amazing? I didn't know they had it in them. :) Watching baseball was much more fun than I expected it to be...maybe it was because we were such awesome fans!
If I had won some free stuff or got on the jumbotron that would have "iced the cake".

"Let's go *clap clap* Blue Jays *clap clap* Let's play Ball!"

Song for the Year

If all I've done, at last should come to nothing.
And all I love, like sand be washed away,
Still I will sing, of Your unfailing glory.
On bended knee, I'll lift my voice and say.

Chorus:

Great is the Lord, Great is Your name,
Til my last breath, I will proclaim,
Great is the Lord, Great is Your name,
I give my life, to sing Your praise.

If you should speak, or should remain in silence,
Should give me light, or lead me through the dark,
Whatever the cost, whatever joy or sorrow,
I'll worship still because of who You are.

When death becomes, the end of all my labours,
And Christ alone my rest and reward,
May all I've done, be one enduring echo,
Resounding on to shout, Great is the Lord.


man, and that's why i do what i do...(Great is the Lord by Starfield)

not to dwell, but just to trust...

Here's a quote from a wise great uncle of mine whom i respect very much,

"It is good to read these scpriptures(Isaiah 40, Psalm 19) often to remind us how awesome a God we really serve. It is really difficult for me sometimes to understand with my finite wisdom who God really is and how He does what He does. But I believe every word that is written, and when I do think about it, I don't dwell on it, I just say God I do believe what you say in the scriptures and You are truly the great I AM , and my all sufficiency. Thankyou LORD."

I say thank you Lord very much for this encouragement. And so often my attitude is not the humble "i believe what it says" attitude. I want to be teachable/humble but i just want to be there...not get there.

I hope this encourages you too. :) God is more than one step ahead of us.

Experiments in living alone

Oh kay. I really like reading people's blogs. I like people and I like knowing about them - but i haven't become a real big fan of me actually blogging. My favorite blogs are the personal ones that actually let you into their lives, thoughts, and feelings - but those are hard to write! Put your personal feelings out into cyberspace for anyone to read? man, i don't know...i just don't know.
Sometimes i think of brilliant things to write about and then i forget. Sometimes i want to write something and as soon as it's down i question it's interesting-ness or value to the reader. just erase it my mind says. either way, i don't totally get the whole blogging culture - it seems good for brilliant people to blog - because they have intelligent things to say. Like C.S. Lewis, i would read his blog. But yeah - sometimes it's like taking off your clothes for everyone to see. that's weird. But i know i like it on other people's blogs so i guess it's not as weird as it seems. Here's a bit of what's going through my brain right now.

I've been living on my own for a week now and overall i don't like it. There are benefits, that's true - for example:
1) I leave it dirty, no one cares.
2) i leave it clean, no one messes it up!
3) i can talk on the phone as loud and late as i want and keep no one up!
4) i can express myself freely and not get weird looks - dancing, crying, talking, yelling in frustration.
BUT, things that i find difficult about living alone are as follows:
1) i annoy myself because i just talk and talk to myself and i can become really strange after a while - books help with the sanity but it's not enough.
2) no incentive to go to bed or get up...it all just seems like a lot of discipline.
3) eating alone...i agree with alison lau on this one. i usually dine with a good book
4) too much space.
5) it's lonely. phone calls are just not the same as face to face
6) it's draining. My personality profile says i'm drained by too much alone time - sooo true! It's hard to clean when it's just me...with people around (even if not in the same room) it's seems like fun.
Anyway, this seems long enough. Looking forward to school starting and students getting here. Today a group of us went to the beach and erected a minor monument to doing something with free time. It was a bunch of progressively bigger and bigger sticks (last one about 30 feet) that we "planted" in the beach. Maybe a "post-modern" sandcastle, if you will? picture to follow. :P
Hannah, Meredith...come quickly. For now, God and i have had some good long conversations.
blah. there. that's my thought for the week
ps. just so you know, life is generally good, and hannah comes tomorrow! yay!

What's blue and springy? a blue spring!

Just like my favorite joke. (What's brown and sticky? ....a stick!!!)

Jamie, Vanessa and I missed out on half-price Universal tickets shahaha...i know i know - so funny. But that's where we went today! Very beautiful and sooo refreshing! So we drove 1/2 hour to Blue Spring State Park. Basically, it's a spring that sends 104 million gallons of 72 degree water per day from a deep hole in the ground. you can actually see the hole in the picture to the left...where the dark water is. The water is perfectly clear - because it's been distilled for a year going through the ground.

And yes - there was even the potential for alligators. Vanessa and I were a little nervous about that - although we knew they were supposed to be caged off. Unfortunately we didn't get to see any once we were at a safe distance.











It's basically like the "lazy river" in the theme parks - but it's all natural!

We have one week left of classes - i only have two hours of class a day - but besides that there's a ton of reading.

Jamie and i took the opportunity to jump in one last time. ->

At church this morning we sang a song which goes well with the weekend for me. I believe that it's something God is teaching me - that there's more to it all. It says "Stuff of earth competes for the allegiance I owe only to the Giver of all good things." Even the beautiful spring or the lovable people or even the bible are all FROM God. I'm loving the bible - but they are so good to remind me here not to become a "bibliolator" (lover of the Bible) but a lover of God.

There's more that rises in the morning than the sun
And more that shines in the night than just the moon
There's more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room

And there's a loyalty that's deeper than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs that I can sing
Stuff of Earth competes for the allegiance
I owe only to the Giver of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to you
So if I sing let me sing for the joy that has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home

The value of a word

The case for the Bible is definitely stronger than what i ever used to think! If I had any doubts about whether the Bible is true, they'd be gone by now! But even if I trust it - I have been challenged with how much i value it.

Ps. 19: 10 says "More to be desired than gold - even much fine gold" There are definitely things that I would rather God left me stranded on a desert island with than my Bible, if I'm honest! Mostly, it's people - I'd rather have people around than God and His word. I read it a bit and then I'm on to new things. It's good - it's just not the key to my life.

1 Tim 3:16 says "All Scripture is...useful for teaching, rebuking, correction, and training...that the man of God may be equipped for every good work." So if i believe it then it would be my first and last place to look for my own self training. I would spend lots of time - looking through it. I don't think I really believe it.

These next two weeks will be a chance for me to dig in and enjoy whatever God has to offer in His word and in Himself. Looking forward to it! 

check it out. :)

It's a really nice campus...way nicer than canadian ones. Maybe because it's always warm here? There's a beach volleyball court and outdoor pool. It's right on a lake and has lots of outdoor tables to study at! It's great.

Also...Panera...so good - It's this bread place with classical music playing. It's got sandwiches like "turkey artichoke on basil pestor foccaccia" or "Pepperblue Steak on tasted Ciabatta". It's really really good and has wireless - that's how i'm online now.

check out the website http://www.panerabread.com/
I want them to come to Canada. Too bad i wasn't in business...

ok - two classes down, two more to go! I'm excited to have a later class schedule! (starting at 1 pm instead of 8 am!!!!) I can be really out of it in the morning....as you can see on the left. (just so you know...this was a fake!) :)


alright...back to the studying...right now i'm reading about "why is there so much pain in the world?" should be good!

A good promise.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19

So...God will supply all my physical, emotional, spiritual, relational needs according to his glorious riches (which is a lot because He owns everything - 'cause He made everything!) in Christ Jesus.

I hope I'm interpreting this correctly - feel free to leave an opinion! But I have been greatly encouraged by this verse lately. And I have also been challenged because I don't act as if this is true!

I was feeling stressed and worried about changes happening in my life - trying to think of how to provide for all the things that are changing. Like, friends - many of my London friends are leaving (not all!) but I'm starting to wonder who will fill in those spaces in my life? And what about spiritually - will there be people around and available who can build into me spiritually? I really feel like I need to find a female role model in my life - someone much older than me (not related) who can really challenge me by their life. I'm meeting people like this in my travels and it's inspiring me to get to know one well and to become more like them. I'm praying to find one in London.

On another note - today I went to the International Headquarters of Campus Crusade for Christ and it was pretty cool! We found them to be generous and welcoming hosts and the place, although it looked good and well-kept, was actually not over-the-top. It was classy though! I held Steve Douglas's mouse and sat in Bill Bright's former couch in his former office. Good stuff!

I found out about a new website too - full of people's (students mostly) stories. It's called www.storyspot.com . So check it out...i met the girl who was overseeing it. I feel so "in the know". ;)

I'm in Florida...

Florida in the summer - never thought i'd be here but it's been great! I'm taking a course in the different parts of christianity (ex. about the bible, who God is, who Jesus is,...) and another one in how to study the bible. I've learned so much...one neat thing we did was in looking at different attributes of God. I looked at God's providence...so interesting - i learned how God's providence includes His preservation of us, His government of us, and His cooperation with us.
There is definitely too much air conditioning in Florida - so i always need a jacket! But it's still good :) We went to the beach yesterday to see the space shuttle launch - unfortunately it was cancelled. Don't worry - we still got a tan! :P
I signed up for this so that i could leave a message on Melissa manahan's blog - she's going to Tanzania. someday i'll figure out how to link to her site. :)
see ya!